Here’s another attempt trying to make sense of it all. While the cursor blinks, I think to myself, “When’s all this coming to an end. There’s just so much on my plate at the moment. And the best part is, the spread keeps coming and the buffet is constantly topping up with more stuff”. Just before you think it’s about another great adventure I have for food. Clearly it’s not and it’s more about my appetite toward work at the moment.
I’ve been served the same plate, but the serving size gets bigger. Not given much cutlery to work through the food. Both hands and whatever else I can find around goes in to get it all sorted and cracking and I’m ballooning up my emotions more than ever. I breathe and keep sane, rest as much but doesn’t seem enough. That’s just it: sample plate, bigger serving size. God help me.
Munching through the issues are like splitting hair at times. Unnecessary but seems to be most ordinary part of the day. Passing of the buck way over when one does suck, I heave a sigh and rest my mind and say, “I’ll sort this out in a bit”. Pulling ends, stretching streams seems to be the cloudy reminder I have of myself. A glass of wine, a scent of bourbon before the night fall helps appease the soul.
For other fun projects, we’re nearly there but much polishing is still needed. I feel I’ve let my guard down in terms of required quality just to ensure that we keep going. Speaking of going, learning on the go seems to my daily motto now. It’s the style sheet presented to me, as much as China is shaping Africa, I can’t say the same for my stance. The present seems forever, while the past haunts you and the future worries you. All exposing the extremities that my mind plays on me. Not all is true though, especially the period. I keep these thoughts at bay, and don’t let it affect me too much. The positive and negative coexist together and the balance of both is truly an art skill an act of strong will mostly. In the good days, I say to myself, “I have no fear for tomorrow for I’ve lived yesterday and love today”
I’m not loving much of today these days though. I feel tired even when rested, exhausted when I have cut back on activity, and the mind is taking its first class round trip across the universe that charges up my thought process to fuel further tiredness.
Some form of centering would be helpful.
More will help.
Time is scarce with much to do. Perhaps this piece here serves as a reminder that I need to take some time to nourish myself. Physically, the gym is more of label than venting zone now. I’ve been so out of it and I can feel the difference and I just don’t like feeling lousy. Just that when you knock off work, it’s so tiring to get your butt going there but I need to try. Get it going. Mentally, I have been trying to balance how much I do at work vs how much I read for self development. Unfortunately, my anxiousness in searching for answers lead me to mix much of work and other things together when I do read hence taking me to oblivion about timing and before you know it, I’m borrowing time from the next day.
I’m looking for a new dawn. So here’s a reminder that I need to get active again: body, mind, and soul. Need to chat with the Big Man too and listen to what he say to say. Mark it down, put a reminder. No strings attached, just a string to say, “you need to do this for yourself”.
